Achieving Sincerity Part 1

Today we live in a capitalist society that promotes individualism and the me, myself and I syndrome. Its promotes selfism and an egoistic mentality, whereas Islam came to eradicate this mentality. Yet we should realise that Muslims will inevitably be affected. Even the ‘practising’ Muslim cannot be immune from this constant barrage of concepts that we face.

Societies today are built on secularism. If we question ‘What kind of person holds secularism to be true?’ Then it is the person who says: ‘I don’t care whether God exists or not, I am going to do what I want.’ And so from this came the four freedoms: speech, ownership, belief and individual. Hence individualism, selfishness, egoistic behaviour is rampant and is to be expected. A manifestation of this is a danger a Muslim may face: ‘the need to show-off’

Riyya in Islam

Linguistically riyaa comes from the root “ra’aa” which means to see, to behold, to view. The derived word ‘riyaa’ means “eye-service, hypocrisy, dissimulation; dissemblance.” From a Sharee’ah point of view, “to perform acts which are pleasing to Allah, with the intention of pleasing other than Allah”. Thus riyaa originates in the heart.

Mahmood ibn Labeed reported that the Allah’s Messenger said, “The thing that I fear most for you is the minor Shirk; Riyaa” (Ahmad in his Musnad)

Aboo Sa’eed reported that the Messenger of Allah (saaw) came to us while we were discussing about Dajjaal and said, “Should I not inform you of that which I fear for you even more than the dangers of Dajjaal? It is the hidden Shirk; A person stands to pray, and he beautifies his prayer because he sees the people looking at him.” (Sunan Ibn Majah vol. 2, #3389)

Hence Riyya – is hidden shirk, it is the type of sin which Allah aza wa jal will never forgive. Never. Hence we need to be very aware of this.

Think about this Hadith Qudsi:

The first of people against whom judgment will be pronounced on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who died a martyr.  He will be brought and Allah will make known to him His favours and he will recognize them.  [ The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them? He will say: I fought for you until I died a martyr.  He will say: You have lied – you did but fight that it might be said [of you]: He is courageous.  And so it was said.  Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire.  [Another] will be a man who has studied [religious] knowledge and has taught it and who used to recite the Quran.  He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favours and he will recognize them.  [The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them?  He will say: I studied [religious] knowledge and I taught it and I recited the Quran for Your sake.  He will say: You have lied – you did but study [religious] knowledge that it might be said [of you]: He is learned.  And you recited the Quran that it might be said [of you]: He is a reciter.  And so it was said.  Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire.  [Another] will be a man whom Allah had made rich and to whom He had given all kinds of wealth.  He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favours and he will recognize them.  [The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them?  He will say: I left no path [untrodden] in which You like money to be spent without spending in it for Your sake.  He will say: You have lied – you did but do so that it might be said [of you]: He is open-handed.  And so it was said.  Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire.

Lets think about this haidth…..is it possible that these three people who spent their lives doing good actions, outwardly, actually thought they were doing those actions for Allah aza wa jal? That they were able to convince themselves….they deceived themselves, without realising….I mean who in the right mind would give their life for people willingly, knowing that they will be going to hell????????????? No wonder the hadith mentions that finding Riyya is more difficult than finding a black ant on a black stone in the middle of a dark black night!

It shows us that as Muslims, as slaves of Allah aza wa jal…no matter how much knowledge we may possess, no matter how many extra nawafil/sunnah’s we do….we cannot TRUST ourselves….our reliance on Allah aza wa jal, on his mercy, on is guidance needs to be complete.

Actions in which Riyya can creep in and destroy the sincerity and therefore the hope of Jannah in a Muslim

Indeed the topic of Riyya for Muslims needs to one which should make him think, make him reflect, make him worried. Yet there are some actions were there is MORE of a chance for Riyya to creep in and to affect the person in a drastic manner.

The actions in which riyya can creep in have to be those in which there are other people involved. Which involves people contact. Eg. Salat in jamaah, in actions such as giving dawah, forbidding the evil, enjoining the good, calling people to Islam

Today, we clearly find that there is a concerted effort in the west as a whole to change Islam, to westernise or modernise or reform Islam from its true understanding. Those Muslims who have any knowledge of Islam, those that are aware of this attack, it is a duty upon them to defend Islam, to not let the Muslim youth be misguided, to explain and uphold the true Islam.

Working for this, the most effective manner has to be a collective coordinated effort. Individually we can try, but any major activity that we as Muslims undertake needs to be done collectively so that we can have a bigger, better impact.

Indeed this is based upon Islam and the Islamic evidence for this is the hadith in imam nawawi’s 40 hadith:

Abu Yaala Shaddad bin Aws said that the messenger of Allah said :

“Verily Allah has prescribed proficiency in all things. Thus, if you kill, kill well; and if you slaughter, slaughter well. Let each one of you sharpen his blade and let him spare suffering to the animal he slaughters.”

related by Muslim.

Hence this makes it more of a people linked activity and therefore those of us that work in groups, in jamaats, should be extra careful of this.

So for example a close friend of mine said how he is inspired by other brothers around him, how when people around him do dawah, carry the call, he get motivated to carry and how he feels lethargic when alone.

Lets think about this…is there a possibility that riyya maybe affecting him? Should not the jazba, the desire, the motivation, the drive, the passion, the want to carry the call, the want to defend Islam, the want to help Muslims world over, should this not be internal?

We need to be careful, the discussion here is NOT about making a judgment on other Muslims, they are sincere and we MUST assume that, giving them 70 excuses. This discussion is more about our own selves.

Why Humility is a basis of the Deen?

Is Taqwa the Basis of Everything?

Humility or Humbleness

Examples for Us

Self Reflection and Self Criticism

Marriage

Why humbleness is the Basis?

How Kibr leads to Jahannum?

Reflect O’ Muslim

Dua

Is Taqwa the Basis of Everything?

In the Qualities article I elaborated how one key quality that we must look for in a spouse must be Islam. The following of Islam that is sincere to Allah aza wa jal and not for any other reason. I also thought that this must also be the MOST essential quality that a Muslim needs to have to be an Islamic Personality. Furthermore in terms of doing dawah to people, I thought that Taqwa was something which I would undoubtedly need to build for someone to become Islamic.

Recently, however, I have changed my understanding. This has come through some thought and some (what I hope is) deep contemplation. The conclusion I have come to, is that the MOST ESSENTIAL quality in any spouse or the basis of any Islamic personality must be HUMILITY.  I struggled with whether it is taqwa that leads to humility or is it that humility leads to taqwa?

Humility or Humbleness

Humility or humbleness is the opposite or arrogance and pride. It is the opposite of believing ourselves to be self-righteous, above others, or self-important. Indeed we find that it was this kibr(pride/arrogance) that led shaitaan to kufr, it was this kibr that led Abu Lahab not to believe even though he knew Islam was the truth and it was this kibr that led the Jews to reject the truth at the time of the Messenger of Allah(saw).

Examples for Us

In contrast if we look at our noble examples from the time of the Nabi (saw) we find that the Messenger of Allah (saw) made sure that this most essential quality was built in the sahaba(ra). We find that the Messenger (saw) was the MOST humblest of creation’s. Being the best of the best from all that Allah swt created, being guaranteed the highest of statuses, being able to command unlimited resources, the Messenger(saw) showed us how we should never be affected by the me/myself and I syndrome, thinking we are all too important or that we are self-righteous or that our actions are all-too-important.

Was not our Nabi(saw) the leader of the state when he would help his wives with the housework? Did not our Messenger(saw) command armies which were to conquer vast lands – yet he slept on mats and ate as any servant would do. His clothes were ones which were no different to those around him-having patches and he never complained about food. It has been narrated that the Messenger(saw) arranged to meet someone before Dhuhr and the person came hours later, while the Messenger(saw) sticking to his promise, stayed in the blazing sun,  not complaining about the lateness of the Muslim who thought himself too-important to stick to his word (OK, the sahaba probably wanted to hammer the dude, but the Messsenger(saw) neva said nowt).

Let’s think about the example of Umar(ra) – who would take turns with his slave to ride the camel while they were on a journey to Aqsa.  When coming to the end of the journey the slave said to Umar(ra) ‘O Umar, the people will see me riding, while you the Khaleef, walks?’. Umar(ra) replied ‘It’s your turn, so be it.

Let’s think about the example of Umar(ra) how he was the one who ran to Hudayfah(ra), who’d been given the list of hypocrites,  asking Hudayfa(ra) if he was a hypocrite, even though the Messenger had included him in the list of Ashara-Mubashara, and even though the sahaba(ra) were the most favoured generation amongst mankind.  Is this the example of someone who sees himself as self-righteous?

Self Reflection and Self Criticism

Indeed an essential quality that any Muslim most have is the quality of self-reflection. A quality which makes the Muslim question himself, it makes the Muslim the one who never thinks he has attained closeness, but rather is always perfecting himself, trying to correct his intentions and his nafsiyya. Trying his utmost to get closer to his Lord, always seeking His(swt)’s mercy and forgiveness. Always realising the short-comings in his actions and his conduct with people around him.

But self-reflection can ONLY occur from the Muslim who is humble, who does not think of himself as self-righteous, and has no kibr. Introspection and reflection can only come about if the person truly has humility in all the aspects of his life.

Marriage

With respect to marriage, kibr in a person leads to the non-appreciation of his/her spouse. Any relationship, regardless of the amount of love and compassion that may exist in it, still requires an awful lot of effort and perseverance, but with kibr you will not find a true recognition of this need since the  each party will think they are better than other half. In actual fact humbleness will mean that both spouses will individually feel that they are the ‘lucky ones’ – lucky to have the other as their spouse J

Furthermore Kibr results in a attitude of ’self-importance’ and therefore a ‘demand’ of expectations that will make the relationship mechanical and uncompassionate. It was indeed Umar(ra) who said: ‘my wife does not give me all the rights, and neither do I demand such, for then she would demand the same’.

Is it not the case that our elders warn us against marrying someone who is really beautiful? But surely, it is not the beauty that is the problem, but rather it is the persons attitude to what blessings Allah swt may have bestowed upon them that is the cause of issues.

Is it not the case that we are discouraged from praising people, to even such an extent that elders warn us against expressing unconditional love for our spouses? But surely, it isn’t the praise or the expression that is the problem but the resulting behaviourism and attitude of one who may have kibr.

Or how sometimes married brothers think it wise to keep mentioning second marriage to their wives…’to somehow keep them on their toes’! Strange! Do they not realise that this affects the relationship and that the companionship is built on accepting individuals for whom they are and not agitating insecurities to force behaviourisms?

Why humbleness is the Basis?

Humbleness results in a person realising that he is nothing, realising that he is not close to Allah aza wa jal as Allah swt desires. Realising his mistakes, realising his errors in everything and forever seeking to perfect his relationship with Allah swt and to make sure he positively affects those around him for the sake of Allah swt alone.

This is how we should understand the sayings: ‘The hypocrite is the one who thinks he is not’ or the saying ‘He who thinks he is sincere, he is insincere’.  For questioning yourself, criticising your own actions, realising the many mistakes and errors of your ways is the ONLY way to attain closeness to Allah aza wa jal. The true Muslim realises that he is nothing without Allah swt’s guidance, mercy and blessings. He does not think much of his actions, he find faults in everything he does and therefore realises that it is only through the mercy of Allah swt from which he can attain Jannah and is therefore forever dependent on Him swt. We should reflect on the hadith about Allah swt placing all of mans actions against the blessing of sight, and the blessing of sight will outweigh all what man thinks may have been enough, hence we should realise that no matter no important or critical we feel our actions are, they are not enough for us to attain Jannah and we rely on Allah’s mercy completely.

Another proof of why humility is the basis, is that humbleness results in the acceptance of truth. What is the ONE quality that is common in all reverts to Islam? The ONE quality any revert to Islam has that led him to accept Islam  was indeed humbleness. Hence humbleness being the basis of the deen and the Islamic personality.

How Kibr leads to Jahannum?

So how then could minds which profess to be Muslims, hearts which profess to love Allah swt and his Messenger(saw) not be humbled by everything around them? How could they let their ego or their nafs get the better of them? Do they not reflect from where they came, or, at the vastness of the Universe around them?

This is why our Nabi(saw) commented on Kibr, saying that he who has an ounce of it in his heart, will never enter Jannah, for the one who does have this disease will never see the need to improve, the need to reflect, the need to get closer to Allah aza wa jal, or realise his mistakes or the errors of his ways.

Reflect O’ Muslim

Allah swt in the Qur’am al Kareem says: “And the servants of (God) Most Gracious are those who walk on earth in humility”. Hence we should question ourselves, perfect ourselves and always pray to Allah swt to make us of those who have khushoo (humility) in life. Let us think about the following actions which may represent kibr which we need to work on iA:

• Are we ones which fly into a road rage when we feel someone has taken away our right of peaceful driving? Or do we easily accept that it’s a mistake, and mistakes happen?
• Do we get vexed when waiting for someone? Or rather happy for the opportunity of reward and we utilise the time in the Dhikr of Allah swt?
• Or do we find that we allow petty issues to get to us and tick us off easily? Should our expectations be so bold and our ego’s so big as such?
• Or as spouses will we have issues doing or helping with the housework, thinking it is below us and therefore not worthy of our time?
• Why is it we find that after a couple have children, one of the spouses will change their behaviour – assuming the other is stuck for life and therefore we will USE that?
• Or my personal favourite dislike: Private Number plates..surely saying, ‘hey look at me, this is me, I can own a number plate’…classic!

Dua

O Allah, I realise that it is through only you that I can attain Jannah, that I can attain guidance and mercy, that I can attain closeness. I realise that without you I am nothing, that I am misguided and sure to enter the hell-fire. Therefore it is only you that I can beg to forgive me, that I beg to guide me, that I beg so as to change my heart, to a heart that realises my true worth, my true nothingness. Indeed, O Allah, there are many instances where I sin becoming arrogant and proud. Yet I turn to you O Allah for you are the only one anyone can turn to, you are the only one that can forgive and you are the only one who provides.

https://innerawareness.wordpress.com

The most essential qualities to look for in any potential Husband or Wife

The most essential qualities to look for in any potential Husband or Wife

In today’s society there is an overemphasis of the importance of having to look a certain image and an unrealistic media portrayal of women in the media which ever increases the pressures upon an ever-image conscious population to look the part. This has also resulted in Muslims being prone to make such shallow judgements for marriage. Although it cannot be denied that looks will and do affect a decision to marry and that someone may not be another persons ‘type’, it is also important for us as Muslims to truly consider the qualities that we should pursue and look to, to make an enlightened and appropriate long term choice that results in happiness and tranquillity. Hence these are the qualities that I feel, form the basis of what we as Muslims look for, for surely it is the personality and the being of the person we marry that will enable us to gain true companionship.

Islam

This is the MOST essential quality that people need to have. Its about having a true genuine desire for Islam and a true love for Allah(swt)’s pleasure. It’s the type of Islam that is deeply embedded within a person’s mindset and heart. This isn’t about looking for someone who is an angel without making mistakes, but rather its about the Islamic mindset and the genuine desire to get close to Allah(swt) by referring to Islam, even though we are humans and will undoubtedly make many many mistakes and errors.

Its not about the type of Islam that people follow just to ‘kinda-be-Islamic’, or the type that exists to ‘show-off-to-others’, or the type that’s a ‘fad-for-the-year’ and nor the ‘everyone-else-seems-to-be-doing-it-so-let-me-get-in-on-it’ kind of Islam.

Its about someone uses Islam as a criteria for all of their actions, doesn’t just say this, but actually believes that Islam solves all problems and that we will go to Islam for any differences that they may arise in the relationship. This will ensure that problems are ironed out without major hiccups, since no matter how Romeo-Juliet you first feel at first – there’s always a possibility of problems arising.

Indeed the Messenger of Allah(saw) said: “Marry the one whose religious you will prosper”. Hence marriage should therefore be a basis to strengthen ones deen, the ultimate objective must be to find someone who will increase your Iman and who will lead you to jannah inshaAllah.

Intelligence

It is important to converse, discuss and become the bestest and closest of friends with your spouse. Hence a similar level of intelligence is required for this to happen. The two people involved need to singing from the same hymn sheet. Many people may say that compatibility is about having similar interests and hobbies, this may be true, but in reality not only will this limit your scope, but this is generally a result of having a similar mindset in the first place anyway. Hence the real reason for compatibility is indeed the level of thought and having similar interests is merely a result or a symptom of this. Therefore I think this is more about being able to relate to each other and being able to TAKE a genuine interest in the other half, since interests can be developed.

GSOH

Without question, having a laugh is critical. Hence a sense of humour is mandatory and very very important. I mean, can you even be happy without having a good laugh?

Not using Islam for selfish purposes

Marriage is about two different individuals coming together to start a new life for the sake of getting into jannah, they are both on this journey, both need to be happy with each other, open with each other, caring for each other and understanding about each others needs. So for example, if the wife wants go to work, the hubby should not have any issues…I mean so what if his khana(food) is slightly late, even though strictly islamically he CAN refuse and say “hey its my right”. i.e. its more than just following the halal/haram, they need to choose actions from the mandubaat that benefit one another, look after each other and are considerate of each other. So for example, would you encourage her to visit her father even if you had major disagreement with him, or would you USE that against her?

Marriage is not only about your needs but you also required to be compassionate to the needs of others hence this translates to seeing your spouse as a person for themselves and allowing them to be individuals in their own rights.

Self-Critical

Choose someone who is self-critical and thinks about his/her actions and reflects. This quality is important, because s/he will always be thinking: are my actions bringing any harm to others (her/him, him/her family)? It will also enable the person to become Islamic and close to Allah swt. It will allow both husband and wife to be able to correct and be corrected by the other.

Stable character

Stability/Steadiness and having a firm resolve is needed for the relationship to progress in the long term. I think this is MORE important for brothers, which may mean being unemotional when faced with emotional issues, and is about individuals not acting on IMPULSE….I’ve heard about it happen…guy in the heat of the moment says talak, talak, talak…then everything gets buggered…utter stupidity…and over what – really somot stupid/silly/minute. Stability also results from being a chilled out character, being easy-going, relaxed and the knack of not letting things get to you.

True Acceptance of ‘Higher Rank’

Allah swt in the Qur’an says that men have higher rank/degree above women. This is not about who is better and so on, but rather the illah(reason behind) the ‘higher rank’ is based on ‘looking after’ and not egoistic/selfish/me myself and I personality syndromes that we see many individuals having these days…i.e. we need to remember that the higher rank should be seen as an AMANAH which Allah(swt) will account you for on the Day of Judgment.

Non-Perfectionist attitude

Humans are all imperfect and have thousands of mistakes/issues. Hence for a successful marriage to proceed, we need to accept the fact that humans are different and therefore your potential spouse may not fit into your model of the perfect being. There may be aspects that you may not like of your spouse and you will need to overlook these for aspects which you like and love. This will enable the marriage to proceed in a tranquil and successful manner inshaAllah.

A Muslim who truly understands his Aqeedah realising that the Qur’an is the word of Allah swt thereby accepting that the only thing in the dunya that is perfect and without faults is inevitably the Qur’an, will fully appreciate the nature of insaan as being full of faults and twirks. Hence how could one who understands this ever let those became a reason for any negative emotion.

Independence in Thinking

Does this person have the ability to NOT allow the family to interfere in a way that is detrimental to the marriage….Sometimes you find that families from both sides like to interfere and may cause problems…As an example I met one bro and he tells me how he got married to a sister who had a good executive type job, and how his parent intervened and wanted her to be a house wife, so she had to quit work and now he’s struggling to pay rent etc. Madness!

Goldfish Memory

Life isn’t about holding grudges or venting up frustrations. Marriage is also about two different, possibly diverse families coming together. There will always be issues whether from your spouse, from their immediate family or even the wider family. Islam made silat tur rahm (visiting of relatives) an obligation. This means that the individuals need to have a goldfish mentality to issues that have arisen and learn to forgive and forget easily. Its about being chilled out and relaxed, realising the true objective of life is Jannah and therefore not wishing to waste time/effort or even thinking in petty squabbles.

Humbleness

An individual who is not humble is one that is proud and arrogant. Pride and arrogance (takabur) are the worst diseases an individual can possess and will lead to problems and difficulties in this life and the hereafter. Obviously the primary concern for someone who has takabur is indeed the entry into Jannah and the avoidance of hellfire.

But another implication of this disease is that the person will think brilliant of him or her self. S/he will think less of others. This in marriage will lead to the non-appreciation of his/her spouse. In reality, any relationship, regardless of the amount of love and compassion that may exist, still requires an awful lot of effort and perseverance, but with takabur you will not find a true recognition of this need since they will think they are better than others, and ‘others’ may well include their spouse. In actual fact humbleness will mean that both spouses will individually feel that they are the ‘lucky ones’ – lucky to have the other as their spouse  Whereas having an attribute of takabur implies the opposite.

Dua

O Allah, You are the Lord of the worlds and the changer of hearts, so change my heart to be one which remembers You and that which is sincere to You and glorifies You day and night.

O Allah, nothing is beyond your power, so I pray that you give me khair in the dunya and khair in the akhirah. Give me khair in the dunya by testing me with that which I can bear, forgiving my sins without taking away your blessings and overlooking my shortcomings.

O Allah, guide me to the sirat tal mustaqeem and strengthen within me my Iman.

O Allah, help us to find a spouses who are upon the Haq, who are a strength for Islam, who are sincere to You and who is devoted to You. A spouse with whom we find tranquillity and companionship. A spouse such that our seeing the other is a strengthening of our Iman, a spouse with whom whose company is a reminder of Allah, a spouse who can educate the children we have – to enable them to become a light of Islam and guides for Muslims, a spouse with whom our personality becomes more refined, a spouse whose smile takes away our tiredness, a spouse whose closeness takes away our worries, a spouse with whose love our needs are reduced, a spouse who removes our laziness by their constancy, a spouse who forgives our faults and overlooks the errors we make, a spouse who becomes for us a comfort, a protection, a cover and a support in the journey of life, a spouse in whose heart there is love and affection, in whose being is intimacy and closeness, a spouse in whose soul there is mercy and compassion, a spouse with which our deen becomes complete and a spouse with whom we enter jannah til firdous.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

A hadith related to power of the Prophet(saw) is:

“Each of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock. An Imam is a shepherd and he is responsible for those in this care. A man is a shepherd in his family and is responsible for those in his care. The woman is a shepherd in her husband’s house and is responsible for those in her care. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s property and is responsible for what is in his care.”

Although it was in Spiderman we found the saying ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility’. It is clear that Islam has always recognised this fact. At first one may thing that this statement is more applicable to a person with superhuman strength or powers, which none of us have (yeh, I know there are power we would all like to have), the truth is that this simple statement conveys a host of information and lessons for the Muslim. If we take power to mean ‘the ability to influence’ or ‘the ability to affect another human being’, then we all have some power to an extent which may differ, depending on our roles and responsibilities we find ourselves in. Hence the hadith about each of us being a shepherd is applicable to each and every one of us, whether we are leaders of states, leaders of groups, leading a task, leaders in a journey, leading a household, or even mothers to our children.

The biggest danger a person faces, who maybe in a position of authority or power, will be from the diseases of arrogance and pride. Having a position as such can easily bring out the worst and hence egoism can become manifest.

Pride and Arrogance is indeed the worst of sins. Any other defect and there is more of a chance the individual can be corrected and will accept the advice, but in contrast, pride/arrogance will be blinding. It was Sufyan al-Thawri(rm) who said: “Every act of disobedience committed due to passion, its forgiveness is hoped for. Every act of disobedience committed due to arrogance, its forgiveness is not hoped for because the root of Satan’s disobedience was arrogance, whereas the root of Adam’s lapse was passion”

Therefore we find that in the past many of the sahaba being aware of this danger, did not, accept positions of authority. They did not accept positions of leadership and stayed away from being governors or Amils of provinces.

WRT households, when Allah swt mentions in the Quran that men have a degree over women, its not about you-being-the-man or having to enforce your decisions. Its not about being draconian and despotic. The illah (legal reason) for this rule is more to do with the hukm of looking after the household. Its to do with taking care of the affairs (unlike the Muslim rulers who are puppets of western regimes and their corporations), and in essence its about being their guardians.

Practically this boils down to decisions and issues being mutually decided. The household being tranquil, the warmth of love and compassion existing in the relationship. Of course the rule exists for a reason, so the best example I can think of personally would probably be:

Some time ago, my sister wanted to go to the city centre….there was a footy match on…she wears hijab and jilbab…supporters had filled pubs…and somehow in some weird woman’s logical thought process!!!…. she came to the conclusion that all will be fine…I kinda INSISTED…NO, not today.

(i know the eg’s a bit crass…but there we are)

So the rule exists to achieve guardianship and thereby happiness and tranquility in the household and not an egoistic trip someone may like to go on!!!!!!!!

Also, when it comes to the woman’s role, she also has responsibilities, whether its to her in-laws, or to her children. I’ve unfortunately seen a case where a wife of someone I knew, was kinda a bit off-ish with her in-laws and unhappy for her children to see their grandparents. I’ve also seen cases where mother-in-laws become jealous and draconian.

Even tho we all have been given influence, power and authority in certain respects, we shouldnt forget that the real KING we will face on Yuam al Qiyama.
And believe me, He swt has MORE than superhuman powers!! 🙂

So I guess with great power does come great responsibility, but only for those who realise that along with great power there also comes an even greater accountability.

May Allah swt only give us those tests we can take, may Allah swt only give us that which we can bear, may Allah swt guide us to the sirat tal mustaqeem, may He swt help us to achieve happiness and tranquillity in the Dunya and thereby make of us of those who achieve His pleasure in the Akhirah. May He swt make our households those that work together to achieve Jannah til Firduas. May Allah swt make us realise the error of our ways, the diseases in our hearts, the mistakes of our limbs and the insincerity of our hearts. May Allah swt give us protection from arrogance, protection from the whispers of shaitaan and make our hearts at one with Himself.

O Allah, indeed you know us better then we know ourselves – for we can truly deceive even ourselves but there is no hiding from You. You are the all-seer and the all-knower. Without you we are lost and without you we will truly enter jahannum. So do not leave us for even a moment, O Allah.

Ameen